JESS: I have this theory that when men go bald, they don't actually lose their hair. It retreats back into their heads. Which is why as men grow older and their hairlines recede, one can't help but notice an increase in the hair pouring out of their nostrils and ears and eyebrows.
There's nowhere else for it to go!!! Eventually, of course, strands of hair begin to wrap themselves around the brain, causing malfunctions, which is why men aren't as smart as women. Women don't suffer from this affliction, and this results in our unchallenged success and inevitable takeover of the world. And when that day comes, we will laugh our evil laugh and toss our long, flowing manes from side to side.
BWAHAHAHAHAHA!!!
SHANE: i hope a chemo patient slashes your tires
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that's why god made periods. we're even.
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