Yikes!

JESS: Does this or does this not look like the scariest penis ever??



Oh wait... That's a fish?! I guess even God smokes crack on occasion.

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SHANE:

Looks more like a vagina they way it has lips and teeth...but I'm a glass half full kinda guy

No Cars Go

JESS: Does anyone else find it interesting that a foreign car company is going through the worst recall in history and a public relations nightmare? This happens so shortly after floundering American automakers are saved by immense corporate bailouts. Is this strictly a coincidence? I smell conspiracyyyyyy........

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Shane:
No thats not interesting at all. Let's talk about tiger woods and where he stuck his peepee!!! Toy-Auto just needs some duct tape and a spit-shine.

Hey toyota........Tiger needs a sponsor.......

feed us....fetus..

SHANE:
From the country that makes all of your baby's toys and alternative medicines

http://blogs.law.harvard.edu/dowbrigade/2006/04/19/fetus-eating-sect-in-south-china/?mode=day





....sounds dericious. Pretty ghoulish, but we have to respect and accept other cultures traditions, even if they are repugnant.

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JESS: WTF?!?!?!

Yea, I suppose you have to accept other traditions and cultures... if that culture is CANNIBALISM!! Seriously, this is just disturbing. The photograph is horrifying at best. I nearly regurgitated my own lunch. Which just so happened to be a good ol'fashioned American Hot Pocket.

What I wanna know is where are these 7-month-old fetuses coming from? Does he keep a fridge full of pregnant women and pull the babies out during the mid-day rush? ORDER UP!! Or... he does have a 19-year-old wife... So, I gather he impregnates her, harvests the baby, eats his soup to get it up, and impregnates her again.

Ahhhhh..... the circle of life.

Who Would've Guessed It?

JESS: So, I went to this swanky loft party last weekend. Everyone there was aged about 19-23, and apparently they all thought I was somewhere in the 21-year-old range. (Not sure if that's a testament to my looks or my maturity.) When they found out that I was actually 28, it was always met with a "OMG! I never would've guessed you were that old!" Which, on one hand is a good thing... I suppose. That I can fit in with these "kids" and they just happen to think I'm way brilliant. But... is 28 really that old? I never really thought so til then. If it is, Jesus... that sucks.

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SHANE:
28 is way old. have you started shopping for grave plots, grandma? i think you would look older if you smoked. also probably cooler. you could use some older, cooler points and nothing racks those up like some cigarette smoke. Crack works too, that'll age your face. Also try being a coal miner, nothing says old like a black lung cough.