JESS: So, I went to this swanky loft party last weekend. Everyone there was aged about 19-23, and apparently they all thought I was somewhere in the 21-year-old range. (Not sure if that's a testament to my looks or my maturity.) When they found out that I was actually 28, it was always met with a "OMG! I never would've guessed you were that old!" Which, on one hand is a good thing... I suppose. That I can fit in with these "kids" and they just happen to think I'm way brilliant. But... is 28 really that old? I never really thought so til then. If it is, Jesus... that sucks.
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SHANE:
28 is way old. have you started shopping for grave plots, grandma? i think you would look older if you smoked. also probably cooler. you could use some older, cooler points and nothing racks those up like some cigarette smoke. Crack works too, that'll age your face. Also try being a coal miner, nothing says old like a black lung cough.
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